In the next day or so, I will know if I am going to have a job for next year.  Naturally I am somewhat worried.

 

Sitting, waiting, thinking, praying, and most of all hoping,

Trying not to ask for the one thing most desired,

Wanting to ask and yet saying, Your Will, not mine,

Praying that Your Will and mine might be the same,

This is where I am and what I am doing.

 

I wish I could just trust for I do believe in Your Love,

In a way I do trust for I really want to serve You,

If that is true and I know it is, then whatever happens is ok,

How is it I am sure You are taking care of me,

Yet,

All this tension in my being as I sit waiting, praying.

 

You are my God

I am Your Servant

And,

Although I am frightened

I am secure in Your Love for me!

 

It is fine to be human for that is what I am,

It is normal to feel as I do which is worried, slightly afraid,

My real and true prayer-

Is

First of all, I am Your Servant for You have chosen me,

Second is my determination to be used by You, my God,

Next is that even if I know not what You are doing,

I accept Your Will,

I tremble thinking of Job,

 

Bottom line is I really want to know Your Will for me,

I really want to have the desire to do whatever You ask of me,

I will accept whatever You give to me,

(Probably not without complaining)

I do ask You to help me to be worthy of what You want of me.

 

Stand firm with me O Lord for I am fragile,

Hold me close and tight for I need to feel Your Nearness,

I do love You

And ,

I trust You

As

I know  Your Love

For me

Is Real!